


Single Gem Seeks Mate

by AceyEnn



Series: Femslash February 2020 [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Useless Lesbians, bad tinder bios, dating apps, pearl just really wants a gf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22564546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: Amethyst helps Pearl refine her dating profile.(Femslash February prompt 1: Sparks)
Relationships: Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe) - Relationship
Series: Femslash February 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623559
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41
Collections: Femslash February





	Single Gem Seeks Mate

**Author's Note:**

> i'm behind on femslash february but whatever

“Amethyst, I think I could use your assistance.”

Amethyst set her comic down. “Sup?”

Pearl gestured Amethyst over. She held up her phone, sighing.

Amethyst snickered. 

“Holy  _ fuck _ , you actually downloaded Sparks? You're actually on a  _ dating app _ ?”

“So?” Pearl huffed, making a face. “What I do in my spare time is none of your business. That being said...look, I have no idea how to sell myself, so to speak. I don't know what to write about myself--I tried, but…”

She handed the phone to Amethyst. 

“Um, why are you asking me?”

Pearl sighed. “Because you're literally the only person I know with a social media presence who isn't either a teenager or Peridot.”

“Yeah, but all I do is annoy boomers on Friendbook.”

“It'll do, okay?”

“Okay, fine. Lemme have a look at what you've got there right now…”

_ Hello! I'm Pearl. I don't know how to use this app yet, so please bear with me! _

“Well, this is trash,” Amethyst finally said. “I'll write you a better bio. Gimme your phone.”

Pearl hesitated. “Promise me you won't bring it into your room? I don't want it to get lost.”

“Chill, P, I'll stay out here. Just gimme a bit to work my magic.”

\---

About five hours later, Amethyst marched into Pearl’s room, a triumphant grin on her face. “Nailed it,” she said as she thrust the phone into Pearl’s hands, startling her almost enough for her to drop it.

“Careful with that!” Pearl hissed. Amethyst just rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's perfect, but give it a look.”

_ my names pearl and i can kill u w my bear hands _

_ im definitely older than u _

_ be rly blatant if ur flirting with me bc i wont kno  _

_ here for a good time 😏👅💦 _

_ also my friend amethyst wrote this and shes cool _

Pearl just stared. “Really?”

Amethyst nodded. “Trust me. You'll be  _ drowning  _ in pu--”

“ _ Amethyst _ !”

“Why are you booing me? I'm right.”

“Amethyst, this bio in  _ no way  _ represents me. Ugh, and the  _ spelling errors _ …”

“It's still better than your old one,” Amethyst noted. “It'll grab attention.”

“Still!”

“Ugh. Fine.” Amethyst sat down, gesturing for Pearl to join her, which she did. “Okay. Let's workshop this. What are you looking for?”

“Um...a woman?”

“Be specific.”

“Uh, ideally...tall. Colorful hair is nice. Strong enough to snap me in ha--”

“Pearl, you're literally just describing Rose. What do you want me to write, ‘in search of a chick who looks like my dead girlfriend’ or something?”

“You know that's not what I want,” Pearl sighed. “But...I don't really  _ know _ exactly what I want. I just don't want to feel so lonely anymore.”

Amethyst wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, so she just said, “Um.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Uh. Let's focus on your traits then. What are some things about yourself that you think girls might like? I mean, you're hot, but that should be covered by the pics…”

“Wait, did you just say I'm hot?”

Amethyst couldn't hide the blush rising in her cheeks. “Uh,  _ yeah. _ That's just a fact of the universe. Water is wet, Pearl is hot.  _ Anyway _ .” 

Pearl blushed too, but didn't respond. “So,” Amethyst continued, “let's start with hobbies and interests.”

“Does swordfighting count?”

“Absolutely. That's good. It'll make people think you're cool.”

“Uh. Singing? Reading? Mechanical engineering and aeronautics?”

“All good, yeah. Okay. We’ll put those down. Uh, dislikes?”

“Eating?”

“Okay, so I know that's true, but uh, humans are gonna think that's  _ really  _ weird. I mean, I guess we could put that down? But you're gonna need some less freaky ones too. How about, hmm...authoritarian regimes?”

“Alright, you're not wrong. Put that down.”

“‘Kay, how does this look?”

_ likes: swords, books, singing, making robots, space travel, pussy, amethyst _

_ dislikes: authoritarian bullshit, food, when amethyst doesn't use spellcheck _

_ looking for a girl who can kill me _

“I don't think,” Pearl said after a long pause, “that either of us are going to be able to write a good bio.”

“Well then,” Amethyst replied, “maybe you could go for someone a little closer.” 

“Amethyst, you  _ know  _ Garnet is monogamous--”

Amethyst groaned. “Pearl,  _ I'm trying to hit on you. _ Please stop playing dumb.”

“What?”

“I  _ said  _ that I'm trying to  _ flirt _ . I've been trying to flirt all afternoon, I--”

“Wait. You…”

“Like you? Um,  _ obviously. _ ”

“It wasn't obvious to  _ me. _ ”

Amethyst pulled Pearl close and gave her a smooch on the lips. “Is it obvious now?”

“...Maybe.”

“...Hey, wanna go to the boardwalk? Just us? It doesn't have to be too serious. No commitments.”

“Yeah. I think I do.”


End file.
